Wednesday, 21 November 2012


The time has come to say Goodbye.  Au revoir and happily not adieu.

I have waited for this day for the last 9 years.  We first met each other when Beansey was about 5 months old, you seemed like a good idea at the time, a safe place, somewhere to go to meet other like minded mums, we all soon came to realise that you were indeed not safe, but a soul sucking, losing the will to live, kind of place. Yet, like a crack addicted whore, we kept coming back for more and more.

We berated you, we moaned and groaned but still your power to bewitch was strong.  Week after week we trudged back for more punishment.  More bad coffee and toddler screaming induced headaches.

The noise, oh the noise, the shrieks of feral children, usually so well behaved.  It wasn't just the mothers that were intoxicated by you, but our little darlings changed.

They became shouty and boisterous.  Feral kids in an urban jungle.

Today as I sat in your room with no natural light, I had a light bulb moment.  Or rather a too bright, fluorescent light moment.   Today would be the last day I darkened your soulless room with my precious cargo, it would be the last time we ate crappy chips and drank dishwater like coffee.  The last time my Pixie was bitten and running around like a loony girl in a pit that smells of cheesy feet.   The petri dish of germs that fester and multiply.  For Pixie is now 4 and too old for your ways.  She was bored of you today and asking to leave as I have been this past decade.

Today was the day after a 9 year long addiction I broke free. 

You see, Pixie is 4 now and I have no other baby.  Today I broke free of your soul destroying ways.   I walked into the sunlight and breathed in the fresh air.  

Goodbye soft play hell.  

Peace and Love

S.A.M xoxo


  1. Lol! I LOATHE soft play areas. My kids of course adore them! Sadly, I have a while to go before we can say goodbye!
    To be fair, we do have one at the toddler group I run, but I organize for it to be cleaned regularly, and it does have windows. The kids love it, and it does keep them busy when they're fed up of the toys.
    We have one near us, that I swear EVERY time we go to, one of my kids gets sick. I did a course on infection control at work, and they showed us two swabs, one from a toilet seat and one from a kids ball pit in a play area... you can guess which one was the bacteria loaded one. We don't have a ball pit in ours for that very reason!! Ick!

  2. YES!!!!!!!

    THere is one near us and I stick two fingers up at it every time i drive past. Primarily because of the vomit inducing signage on the outside about "yummy mummies" and "dashing daddies".

    Go you!

  3. Hi
    I read this on the edge of my seat as I was worried you were saying goodbye to blogging.

    You say Pixie was bitten - this made my ears prick up, as I USED to take Aaron to Southbury Leisure Centre (soft play area) and he was bitten. That was about a year ago and he still has a scar (on his lower back but above his waist. Each and every time I catch sight of it, I gasp and shed a tear.
    Did I misunderstand or was she really bitten?



  4. Ha ha, soft play is hell, for sure! I can't stand and I feel its just as hellish as the dreaded mother and baby groups. shudder.

  5. Ohhhh I envy you. We still go. It smells. It's creaky. It's filled with other's like a workout I don't want. Help me!

  6. Super Amazing Mum22 November 2012 at 07:00

    at least M+T groups are relatively clean even if they are in draughty church halls ;-)

  7. Super Amazing Mum22 November 2012 at 07:01

    thank you my dear! Glad to have made you giggle

  8. Super Amazing Mum22 November 2012 at 07:03

    Oh my gosh, my kids have been bitten and have bitten I am sorry to say. Not sure what it is about soft play but it brings the *bite urge* out in kids. Probably fight/flight instinct!!!! Pixie got a huge bite once and BoBo bit a big boy on the arm. He was severely reprimanded and we went home, I've seen other parents just shrug it off though.

  9. Super Amazing Mum22 November 2012 at 07:03

    oh my gosh, that is AWFUL signage.

  10. Super Amazing Mum22 November 2012 at 07:04

    thank you!

  11. Super Amazing Mum22 November 2012 at 07:05

    Oh my gosh, glad I know *THAT* statistic, after my 9 years of soft play hell.....

  12. They're hideous places aren't they?! I remember taking Amy up until she was about 5 then some snooty cow mother of a young, soft mummy's boy bollocked my girl when she slid down the slide and accidentally knocked into her precious spoilt little brat. I was furious and went storming over to have words, before dragging Amy away and we've never been back to one since! I hate them.

    CJ x

  13. Why are so many of these places badly run. It's not difficult to offer good coffee, quality food in a clean safe enviroment. Check out this place


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