Thursday, 20 September 2012

Did I ever tell you about my disco cu*t?

Oh my gosh, just typing that title makes me cringe.

Anyone who knows me, knows I don't like swearing.  Ever.  Especially the "C" word which I find so offensive.  However, a recent conversation with an old friend had me in hysterics as she recalled one of my biggest and probably funniest malapropisms ever.

Back in the day, I used to do a *lot* of client presentations, working for a TV station I was always pitching to advertising agencies and clients for new business and even if I do say so myself, I was a good presenter who never practised but always winged it.

However, this is the story of why you should always ALWAYS check your work before presenting to clients.

Every year the advertising industry gets together to celebrate the great and the good in advertising at the annual media week awards.  It's a great chance to catch up (and cop off ;-) and put your glad rags on and the drinking goes on until the sun comes up.  Those were the days....

On this particular year, I had been *stupid* enough to book a meeting with the head of Singapore Airlines in the UK the morning after the awards, and despite my boss and I saying we would get an early night, we were still up drinking at 5am.

The next day dawned and we headed off to the head office of the client to give the presentation.  Our agency were also there, worse for wear and we all stank of booze.  Undeterred, I was looking forward to the presentation and hopefully walking away with millions of pounds in revenue.

I stood up, I started well and was really on good form.  Heck, I was even enjoying myself until  I noticed my boss giving it the "cut cut" sign and the agency looking aghast.  The client had a stony face and I really couldn't see what the problem was, so carried on.

I was putting together 3 different levels of investment and had copied the slide from each.  Only to realise as I got to the final proposal, that instead of writing this:

Total Cost:     £ 5 million


Offer to SA: £4.5m

Yes dear readers, all the way through my presentation I was proclaiming I had an amazing disco cunt rather than a discount to offer the client.

So, what did I do?  Did I ignore the error of my typing or did I in fact admit my mistake and make a joke out of it by spinning around saying it was a very pretty disco cunt??

I'll leave that up to you to decide!!

Peace and Love

S.A.M xoxo


  1. Ha! Brilliant - I'm hoping it was the latter :-)

    I've advertised some t-shits before now....

  2. Please let the answer be the second one...

  3. t shits!! That's a classic as well!! WOUld love to hear the story behind that!

  4. I am really laughing now! I hope it is the latter! ;)

  5. Love love love this post! Had me laughing out loud. I hate those moments where you're the last to realise something awful has happened

  6. it is quite funny isn't it!! Sooo lovely to hear from you, I am resisting looking at your blog now for updates as got a meeting to get to! Will bookmark for bedtime reading tonight xx

  7. Ha ha! That's funny. Wondering what you did next?
    I wrote an e-mail to the parents of my Brownie pack last week, telling them we were doing the Advanced Cocks Badge this term, (should have been "cooks", clearly the spell check didn't pick it up, and I've lost my ability to spell since I had children)
    Fortunately the parents all thought it was funny, but I don't think I'll live it down for a while! :)

  8. This has made my day.

    Only matched by me typing up my 11 year old's English homework, a poem titled "Spring" (aw...). Unfortunately, I mistyped the line about "puffy white clouds" and it came out as "puffy shite clouds".

    The story gets better. I did notice, and went back to correct my typo. But somehow, my subconscious must have been superactive, and instead of changing the s to a w, I lopped off the e. So the final version read "puffy shit clouds". Fortunately, his English teacher thought it was hilarious. Also that he said his mother had "helped" him type it.

  9. Puffy Shit Clouds! That's brilliant that is!!!!! I like the fact he dobbed you in it as well!

    Do you blog?? If so, let me know the link so I can go check you out!


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