Damien Hurst, Red Ted Art, Tracey Emin and ME!

Well blow me down, and knock me out with a feather.  I have *only* gone and made something "crafty".    Not only have I made something "crafty", I actually think it is bloody good (blows own trumpet - LOUDLY as still in shock that I did it).

I've always had a bit of banter with the gorgeous Maggie who is the quite simply, the uber queen of craft in my eyes, and even she has given up on encouraging me to 'have a go".  Now, don't get me wrong, I quite like sitting down with the pens and paints (colour by number, natch) and doodling.

In fact, I am a great doodler as any teacher from my old school would attest.  

What I am beyond "hopeless" at though, is anything that involves glue, and cutting and sticking.  It is all so fiddly and precise and I just don't have the patience or inclination to do any of this.    Then, when we do partake in making something, I have to sit on my hands as the kids stick willy nilly as the perfectionist in me want it to look perfect.  Conversation would go like this:

"Oh mum, doesn't this look amazing with the head upside down, and the door on the roof"

"Yes darling, it is fab, I love the way you have used your imagination, it looks brilliant" when really all I want to be saying is "WTF, the head is upside down dude and the door goes in the middle of the house, surrounded by 4 perfect sash windows NOT IN THE FREAKING ROOF!!!!"

Well you get my gist.

Anyway, I wanted to rectify this situation and do something memorable with the kids, I needed a project and so, I went to the drawing board and had a long hard think.   I came up with the following:

1) London 2012

2) Family

3) Memories

Now all I had to do was put that little lot into the cauldron and come up with something "arty".

Then I had a flash of inspiration, (after visiting an American client) and decided that I was going to turn all of that into a junk collage.  

The kids then spent the next 6 weeks filling up a huge ikea bag with anything red, white or blue that meant something to us.  We ended up with the following:

Lego

Dollies

Coke Can

Spit Fire plane

Tickets from coldplay concert/rugby event/derby/polo/olympics

Ferry crossing ticket

Ile De Re bridge pass

Shells collected from the beach

Pens

Old balloon

Broken necklace

Slinky

Home grown red chilli (please say it dries and not rots)

Candles

Marbles

Toy Gun

And tons more "stuff".

We got a box frame, a hot glue gun (thank you Maggie for that tip!) and got to work......

1) Draw your picture - we choose a flag as being so patriotic and a great year, It seemed very fitting to do

2) Get the kids to colour it in (note the tape measure, Miss OCD was measuring it all out precisely)

3) Look away whilst your youngest child "freestyles"

 4) Hot Glue Gun - be careful, a little goes a long way and I still have blisters on my fingers!  Stick on your bits........

5) Get happy clappy, slappy - no room for OCD here Mama!

6) hmmmmm - where shall I put this piece of junk?

7) Beaver togles, scissors, a broken sailor, a porsche, and my old necklace.......

8) Sit back and admire your handiwork.................or, sell to the nearest up and coming Hoxton gallery as a work of art!

Don't think my art teacher would be giving me an E for *THAT* masterpiece do you ;-)

Peace and Love

S.A.M xoxo