Thursday, 3 May 2012

Letting go....

This weekend, my "baby" will be leaving home for two nights, on what I believe is an essential part of growing up, and experiencing life.  Beansey is off to his first ever cub camp.

You would think that the happy childhood memories I have of camp, would be enough for me to push him out of the door, but no, I am petrified!  

We had a camp meeting last week, where we were told on no uncertain terms, that the mobiles are ONLY for emergencies and that any text messages that said "is my little Jonny ok?" every 2 hours would be ignored.  EEEKKK.

I tentatively asked "what time is bedtime?" and was told "when they are tired, usually about 10pm"

WHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATTTTT?????????

Of course my little cherub and all his buddies squealed with delight, especially when told they were allowed a midnight feast and always had a walk in the woods by torch light along with archery, an "olympic" afternoon and lots and lots of homemade cake!!

So, what is my problem?





I was getting his stuff ready today and my overactive imagination went into overdrive.  I played a million scenarios through my mind and have hundreds of "what if" questions.  This is what I imagined:

"What if he sleeps by the door of the tent and a murderer/weirdo opens the tent and snatches him?"

"What if he chokes on a cadburys mini egg that I have packed for his midnight feast and the others don't know what to do?"

"What if he walks off in the woods and gets lost?"

"What if the coach they are travelling to Essex in is involved in a car crash on the M25?"

"What if he misses me and cries and cries?" (as if!)

"What if he falls in a river and drowns (I don't even think there is a river nearby!)"

I could go on, but I think you get the drift of my paranoia.

Now, it is not as if he hasn't stayed away from home before - he regularly stays at my parents who adore the kids just as much as us and their safety and wellbeing are paramount.  I know my parents love the kids as much as us, a cub leader, well of course they want all the kids to be happy/well looked after/secure but they don't love LOVE the kids the way that a parent does.  

So, although I know he will have an amazing time and I truly believe that he is learning "life skills", I am having to deal with a feeling of loss/paranoia.  

I'm trying not to project this and HAW thinks I am being utterly ridiculous BUT I still can't help but think no-one loves my babies as much as I do and would care for them as well as me!

So, am I being utterly ridiculous?  Have you felt the same?  How did you deal with it??

Peace and Love

S.A.M xoxo


6 comments:

  1. Real rights of passage and no doubt harder for us parents than them! Sure he will have a great time!

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  2. Muminmeltdown4 May 2012 at 20:30

    It is so hard, i did the same with al the 'What if' questions. My biggest worry is the travelling as I'm not in control of that ( as an ex driving instructor I can't help it!). However, both my boys have been on camps ranging from a few days to the longest being a whole week. I struggled and they both LOVED it, they get freedom and great opportunities. Try not to worry :)

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  3. thank you so much for commenting - I am literally tying myself in knots here I feel that bad about him being away from home!! I know he will have an amazing time and I know he will love it, it's just me that's a wreck!!

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  4. Just you wait...it'll be you in a few years time!

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  5. Debbie O'Connor4 May 2012 at 21:11

    You will have to get over this thing at some point and practice letting go - unfortunately it is one of the hardships of being a mum. The best thing is to get the hurt over with now while its cub camp, and he won't notice so much if you cry a bit. If you didn't let him go on these things, then you would still be feeling that way when he is 18 and off to university - and by that stage it is just embarrassing. The letting go is a skill you have to practice little bit by little bit. He will be fine, and you will too. My daughter (age 9) is off to her first residential with the school at the end of the month, spending 2 nights away. I'm really proud of her - not the slightest bit worried as I know she can cope.

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  6. that is the best advise EVER - thank you so much, given me some much needed perspective. Thank you kindly!

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